Impostor's Syndrome & How To Fight It
How about we stop feeling guilty about being awesome?
Impostor's
syndrome seems to be a commonality these days, especially in women.
With the growth of public exposure, mainly through social media, we
see so many wonderful figures blossom and naturally when we see our
own accomplishments, we may dismiss them and feel like we're not
enough of this, not enough of that, or that compared to others, what
we didn't isn't that great at all.
There's
also the feeling of not deserving something. Do you ever experience
that? I do, especially when I travel. The day before I leave, my mind
grows full of thoughts of 'I can't believe this is happening to me,'
'This seems unreal, something is going to happen that will prevent
this whole thing from becoming true' and so on. This effect of
impostor's syndrome can apply to jobs, 'lucky' happenings,
promotions, compliments - where you feel like whatenever you've done
is not big enough to match what you got. Recently, I've caught myself thinking that way, and I tell you what, it's wrong! Everything we do matters, and every reward we get is deserved, if only because we are doing our best and being the lead in our own lives. Because taking care of ourselves and valuing ourselves is so important. A few brainstorms later, here are my tips to help you (and myself) to kill impostor's syndrome and just own it all!
YOU ARE LEGITIMATE IN WHAT YOU DO.
Here is my dilemma. I blog, I post a lot of photos on Instagram, and I take care in the quality of my content. I always feel very proud of my content, but now and again the question pops up in my head: am I a blogger though? Even though I only post twice a month? Am I a content creator on Instagram, even though I don't have a big following? And like that, I end up doubting everything I put effort in and love doing. As though I am not really that legitimate in what I do, because I am not an expert/I don't see the end result/it is not my job.
And I can't be the only one to feel like that! If like me, you find yourself not legitimate in what you do, even though you put your whole into it, let go of this feeling: what you do, and do with drive and passion, is part of who you are. And I bet you are doing great at it too.
Here is my dilemma. I blog, I post a lot of photos on Instagram, and I take care in the quality of my content. I always feel very proud of my content, but now and again the question pops up in my head: am I a blogger though? Even though I only post twice a month? Am I a content creator on Instagram, even though I don't have a big following? And like that, I end up doubting everything I put effort in and love doing. As though I am not really that legitimate in what I do, because I am not an expert/I don't see the end result/it is not my job.
And I can't be the only one to feel like that! If like me, you find yourself not legitimate in what you do, even though you put your whole into it, let go of this feeling: what you do, and do with drive and passion, is part of who you are. And I bet you are doing great at it too.
YOU DON'T NEED TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYTHING OR ANYONE.
We
hear this all the time, it's a well-known motivational quote, but
it's definitely true: comparison is the thief of joy. You can be
proud of what you do one minute, and the next, compare yourself to
someone else and lose all that happiness because you feel like you're
not doing as great as that other person. However, it is plainly
impossible to become the same as someone else; impossible to reach
the same stage as them, whatever 'stage' you envy them for. We are
all our unique selves, and everything we do, even the smallest
things, are so personal, and feed into your own development. So when
you see that friend of yours who seems to have all that you want,
remember that not one glove fits all. The more you focus on you, the
more you realise how relevant all your actions are to your own self.
Don't let your perception of others be a factor in whether you
validate your actions or not. And remember: they are not you!
REMIND YOURSELF WHY YOU ARE SO GREAT!
Here's
a little self-love exercise: every day, list three things you did
great today. See it as a gratitude list, but focussing on yourself.
All the little things that make you feel proud of yourself today. It
doesn't have to be something out of the ordinary: it can be that
you've (finally) completed an essay for uni, that you've been
complimented on your work, that you've helped someone out, that
you've reached out to a friend or relative, that you've made progress
in a hobby that you do... every little action you do shows your
mindset; it shows who you are. Impostor's Syndrome sometimes tricks
you into thinking the small things don't matter. "Oh, I just
went on a hike, but really that's nothing because I didn't climb the
mountain." Ditch the idea that you could have done more, that
what you did is ultimately not enough: it really is. Remind yourself
of this every day, and you will conquer the bad thoughts!
Do you sometimes get impostor's syndrome? How would you deal with it or help friends who do?
Lots of love,
Julia x
Lots of love,
Julia x
16 commentaires
I get it all the time, even though by now I should have accepted that I am where I am for a reason, not simply because I got lucky...
ReplyDeleteFrom what you show us Anne, you work a hell of a lot and you should totally own the experience you gained through that hard work! xx
DeleteI totally feel this and yes you are amazing Julia! And I just want to say your instagram is one of my absolute faves right now!!
ReplyDeletefranalibi.blogspot.co.uk
Aw those words mean so much Fran! Thank you for your support! You're just as amazing and I hope you always know that! xx
DeleteI don't have impostor's syndrome because I'm constantly reminding myself of what matters and what doesn't. As I have three blogs, many assume that I'm a full time blogger, when, in fact, is just a hobby. I am aware of that and I don't compare myself with others, as it would be pointless. It is hard though.
ReplyDeleteWell done for reaching this point, Anca! It's a lot of work to be able to internalise this. You're doing great! xx
DeleteI do struggle so much in comparing myself to others but impostors syndrome is something I don't get. Given the fact that I witness everyday at work people who have a much higher level than me being so ignorant and unable to do plenty of stuff. In this way, I am constantly reminded of how much I value. Same goes for you, you have a perfect English writing even though you're French, your photography is very much improving so yes I do believe you deserve to be called blogger if you like and to travel as much as you need (:
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend Julia!
Cate ☾ 35mm in Style | Photography + Blogging
Well done Cate! Always know your worth. It is definitely not measured by hierarchy or social status at all. Thank you for your kind words! xx
DeleteThis is so true and in many ways social media has made it worse. Twenty years ago if people looked at magazines and TV shows they knew it was not real so did not feel as bad if they did not have the same success in life. But now with platforms like YT you see all these people who are highly attractive, in perfect health with great partners, beautiful homes/apartments, tons of clothes and success but one can't shrug it off and say thats not real b/c it is.
ReplyDeleteOh love this photo!! I have a photo of me in front of this fountain that my step brother took. I try to go to Paris every fall for FW. If I come this year maybe we can meet up.
Allie of
www.allienyc.com
That is a very relevant comment to make, Allie. Today we see so much success around that seems so reacheable, from people who seem much closer to you, that it can create such a gap between the average person's reality and those people who have more attractive circumstances.
DeleteThank you as well - I'd love to meet if you came this fall! You should definitely reach out to me if you do! xx
Thanks, I hope you read it! :)
ReplyDeleteI love this, especially the last one. A little self-love can go a long way. This is such a beautiful read dear!
ReplyDeleteJessica | notjessfashion.com
Thank you Jessica, I hope this post helps! xx
DeleteThis syndrome definitely exists. I think you've just got to be thankful of everything good you have in your life.
ReplyDeletewww.fashionradi.com
Gratefulness will indeed help with this situation! xx
DeleteI think we all experience this at some point of our lives, but thankfully this often means we feel as though we're surrounded by people who inspire us if we're questioning ourselves! Another great post, Julia! :)
ReplyDeleteaglassofice.com x