Why the End of a Year is NOT your Deadline
Let's not start the new year stressed, shall we?
2018
is coming to an end. As we all expect, this is the time where
magazines and sometimes blogs ask you to stop and think about the
goals you've managed to achieve. What you have checked off your list.
Have you had a promotion at work? Have you reached 50k on Instagram?
Have you bought a house? All these expectations can be overwhelming,
especially when you see others succeed. Don't get me wrong, we should
always celebrate each other's successes, but often we expect people
to achieve so much in the space of one year, that if you haven't
quite reached your big goals yet, it can make you feel a bit down or
overwhelmed.
But
hear this: the end of the year doesn't mean it's too late. No matter
whether you've reached the end line or not, what you should remember
is the progress you have made in the interval. Things take time, and your goals don't really care about whether you achieve them on December 31, 2018 or on May 2, 2019. Really, they don't. The pressure comes from seeing the end of a year being used as a deadline to end everything and start off again. How about we let go of that pressure, of the temptation to compare our successes to those of others, and just carry on as we were going?
SH*T TAKES TIME
Give yourself the time to reach those long-term goals you have at the back of your mind. Don't make yourself start it all again - unless you want to of course. But you shouldn't feel like you have to make these resolutions to change your life around if they are going to make you stressed. Some things take longer than we expect sometimes, and it's not because you haven't achieved them before the end of the year that you are a failure. Take me, for example: I am writing a novel, and have been on it on-and-off for roughly two years. In early 2018 I started working on it consistently again, and the February 2018 me thought 'by December, I want to be all done and ready to edit!'. Turns out, it's late December now and I'm not there at all. I haven't met my deadline yet. Should I feel like I failed? Or like maybe I didn't put enough time and effort in? It's so easy to put yourself down for not quite reaching what you've been aiming for. But don't let this negativity overshadow all the things you have done, and keep doing every day of every year. Don't let deadlines dictate your successes. And if something needs more time, then just carry on. It's not about how long it takes, it's about how great you feel while working on it.
Give yourself the time to reach those long-term goals you have at the back of your mind. Don't make yourself start it all again - unless you want to of course. But you shouldn't feel like you have to make these resolutions to change your life around if they are going to make you stressed. Some things take longer than we expect sometimes, and it's not because you haven't achieved them before the end of the year that you are a failure. Take me, for example: I am writing a novel, and have been on it on-and-off for roughly two years. In early 2018 I started working on it consistently again, and the February 2018 me thought 'by December, I want to be all done and ready to edit!'. Turns out, it's late December now and I'm not there at all. I haven't met my deadline yet. Should I feel like I failed? Or like maybe I didn't put enough time and effort in? It's so easy to put yourself down for not quite reaching what you've been aiming for. But don't let this negativity overshadow all the things you have done, and keep doing every day of every year. Don't let deadlines dictate your successes. And if something needs more time, then just carry on. It's not about how long it takes, it's about how great you feel while working on it.
DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO THAT ONE GIRL YOU 'SAW ON INSTAGRAM'
I pick Instagram here because it's the perfect platfom to get those types of feelings. You see people through a sparkly lens of lucky moments, engagements, you see them publish books, buy a house, and especially at this time of year, you see the 2018 recaps full of unimaginable goals. This is also true about blogs, about your Facebook friends (like that one person you knew in high school and would never talk to again, but still have as a Facebook friend for some reason) and also the people around you - your friends, your co-workers. Some people have had a fantastic year full of life changing things, and maybe yours was quieter - but success comes in all shapes and sizes and your successes are the best, because they are your own. We all fall into the trap of comparison sometimes, even though I have never tackled this issue on my blog, and now is my time to remind you that comparing yourself to others should not be something you do, whether it's 2018 or 2019. Focus on you and think back on all the awesome things that happened to you this year.
THE NEVERENDING GOAL: YOUR HAPPINESS
To me, there is one big goal that should never have a deadline, and it is your happiness. This of course encompasses a lot of things, and you will define your own happiness in your terms. Whenever you think of your goals, make sure they all drive you towards feeling happy and fulfilled. Whether it is related to your job, your relationships, or your hobbies, do your best to make yourself happy. This is how you create the memories that you will remember at the end of the calendar year - and for all the other years to come.
I pick Instagram here because it's the perfect platfom to get those types of feelings. You see people through a sparkly lens of lucky moments, engagements, you see them publish books, buy a house, and especially at this time of year, you see the 2018 recaps full of unimaginable goals. This is also true about blogs, about your Facebook friends (like that one person you knew in high school and would never talk to again, but still have as a Facebook friend for some reason) and also the people around you - your friends, your co-workers. Some people have had a fantastic year full of life changing things, and maybe yours was quieter - but success comes in all shapes and sizes and your successes are the best, because they are your own. We all fall into the trap of comparison sometimes, even though I have never tackled this issue on my blog, and now is my time to remind you that comparing yourself to others should not be something you do, whether it's 2018 or 2019. Focus on you and think back on all the awesome things that happened to you this year.
To me, there is one big goal that should never have a deadline, and it is your happiness. This of course encompasses a lot of things, and you will define your own happiness in your terms. Whenever you think of your goals, make sure they all drive you towards feeling happy and fulfilled. Whether it is related to your job, your relationships, or your hobbies, do your best to make yourself happy. This is how you create the memories that you will remember at the end of the calendar year - and for all the other years to come.
What is your best memory from 2018?
Lots of love,
Julia x
Lots of love,
Julia x
24 commentaires
My best memory? There are many: Rediscovering a hobby I had stopped doing years ago, sitting at a lake in Norway with absolutely nothing to do, cuddles with my kids...
ReplyDeleteA lot of them, and none of them related to my "goals".
Anne|Linda, Libra, Loca
And I hope all these memories keep making you smile, that's the most important! xx
DeleteI totally agree with this post! I am a firm believer that it's never to late to start something and life is an ongoing deadline!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a great new year!
xo Deborah
Coffee, Prose, and Pretty Clothes
Exactly, it's never too late to start! Have a wonderful 2019 Deborah! xx
DeleteYES YES YES! Happy 2019 babe!
ReplyDeletex Lisa | lisaautumn.com
Happy new year Lisa! xx
DeleteThis is such a motivational post, Julia!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of happiness never having a deadline, great writing!
Anika | anikamay.co.uk
Thank you Anika, I'm so glad you enjoyed! xx
DeleteThe last goals is literally what I'm aiming to do! I don't want to really make myself aspire to something and feel like I'm failing when I don't get there. I want to live in the moment! xx
ReplyDeletefranalibi.blogspot.co.uk
You are right with that Fran! I hope you make yourself your happiest this year! xx
DeleteThis is such a well-written and thought provoking post, Julia! I couldn't agree with you more :) Success truly does come in ALL shapes and sizes; and what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. I hope 2019 is a fabulous year for you darling!
ReplyDeleteaglassofice.com x
That is very true Gabrielle, your own success is following what your heart and mind desire! Have a wonderful 2019! xx
DeleteYou have such a great outlook, the time is now...doesn't matter what date it is.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nancyugo.com/2019/01/bullet-journal-or-planner.html
Glad you enjoyed Nancy! xx
DeleteI like the fact that you said its good to prioritize your happiness.
ReplyDeletehttp://alyinwanderland.com
It should always be the number one thing! xx
DeleteI absolutely need to be better at not comparing myself to others. God knows how much I overcriticise my work! For this 2019 I will try to be more relaxed and to take my time no matter what!
ReplyDeleteWishing you the best start of 2019 Julia <3
Cate ღ 35mm in Style
Definitely take your time Cate, especially if it's to work on yourself! Have a wonderful year ♥ xx
DeleteI think we can all be guilty of giving ourselves a bit of a hard time! I didn't achieve everything I wanted to when I started 2018 by 31/12 but I also had so much amazing stuff happen outside of those goals :)
ReplyDeleteJasmine xx
Jasmine Talks Beauty
We are our hardest critics! You're right to think about all the wonderful things that happened beside your goals, that's sometimes much more important! xx
DeleteSo true babe! Happy 2019!
ReplyDeletex Lisa | lisaautumn.com
Have a wonderful year Lisa! xx
DeleteI do nothing but compare myself to "that girl" on instagram and every time I feel down. I know it's wrong and that instead you should see your steps forward, even if small. Good luck for your novel! I had the idea to write one too, given my passion for writing!
ReplyDeletexoxo
www.milleunrossetto.blogspot.it
Remember that "that girl" only shows the bright side - but nothing is ever perfect! Thank you Roberta, I hope you decide to write one too! xx
Delete