How To Feel More Confident
Work on your confidence like your life depends on it (spoiler: it does.)
This
post is a bit of an experiment. You see, I am myself struggling a lot
with confidence, and I will admit it before I start delving into the
topic. Some days, I feel like the strongest woman in the world, and
other days, I have as much confidence as Bridget Jones in the scene
where she sings All By Myself, drunk and miserable. Needless to say,
the days I feel like Bridget Jones are not exactly the happiest. So
no matter where you are on the road to self-confidence, I feel you
and understand you. It's not the easiest challenge to undertake.
However,
I am striving to be the best version of myself, and thus undertaking
this journey is so important. The more confident you are in yourself,
not only in how you look like but also in who you are, the happier
you will be. You can't face the world if you feel like a tiny little
seed ready to be crushed. You need to grow your leaves and your
beautiful petals one by one, to be strong enough to face the winds
without breaking. Although I am still on the road to self-confidence,
here is my advice on how to get started on your journey.
START NOW
How
many of us have found ourselves thinking, while scrolling on
Instagram, 'She is so confident! I wish I was like her!' or 'Why can't
I be as strong?'. We've all been guilty of wishing we had the
confidence we see in others all the time. Truth is, and I'm just
gonna throw it out here: because someone looks super confident,
doesn't mean they are. The motto 'fake it 'til you make it' has never
been truer than on social media. However, one thing you can get from
looking at all these pictures of strong, confident women, is the
motivation to start your own journey. You can wish it all you like,
but feeling confident is a process that only you can build. Start
little: think about what bothers you about your present state of
self-confidence. Think about the changes you would like to see happen
in yourself. What are the little things in your every day life that
would make you feel more confident? It could be anything from finding the courage to wear a bold outfit outside, to smiling to people in
the street, or even saying 'yes' to a night out. Every day, do one little thing that you will be proud of, and that will get you started on your journey. And then keep going!
REALISE THAT YOU DON'T NEED VALIDATION FROM OTHERS
This
is a big one. You won't find your confidence through the eyes of others. You may
feel great after a friend tells you how amazing you look in your
outfit, but the minute you're alone and facing yourself in the
mirror, all the compliments in the world won't matter. True
confidence is looking at yourself, without frills and disguise, just
you, and think that you are exactly who you want to be, for yourself
and in the world. I'm not saying you shouldn't take anybody's advice
- after all, I am right here, writing this post to help you find your
own voice. But when you're trying to figure out the things that make
you feel confident, only take your instinct into account. What people
see from the outside is very different from how you truly are, and
this is true even for the people closest to you who know you and
support you every day. Self-confidence is a very personal and deep
process, one that you should care for seriously. My words may seem
over-dramatic but I do believe that building your confidence can
change your life for the better. So don't see your own confidence through the eyes of others; only yours matter.
DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF
Coming
back to the point of faking it 'til you make it, there's something
that doesn't sit well with me. It's easy to fake something, and just
get lost in the appearances, especially if it means faking to a
social media following, or even to friends when you meet up with
them. You can create a mechanism of fake confidence, a facade that
you show to others to say 'hey look at me, I feel great with myself'
whereas when you're alone at home, on a bad day, the facade breaks
and you realise that you've just made it all up and tried to convince
yourself of something that isn't true.
Please
don't lie to yourself. If you're really not feeling confident at all
one day, but you have to go out and meet a friend, just accept it.
You will have better days. Don't put up a character that is not
yours. It is better to have a low day that to get suck in a spiral of
pretence. You could only keep it up for so long anyway before it all
falls apart. Embrace yourself with all that you are, and work with it.
Don't suppress it.
BE READY TO DRIVE ON A BUMPY ROAD
As
I have mentioned, I think self-confidence is very personal to each
individual. Only you really know who you are and how you can improve.
You will have times of success and thriving, but you will also
experience hardships, you will question everything and sometimes
think that in the end, you are not confident at all. It's easy, during a low point, to feel like the days where you've felt confident don't matter,
as though confidence was an end point and if you ever fail to reach
it one day, it means you are never a confident being at all, no
matter how hard you try. I've felt like that more times than I'd like
to admit. But you should see confidence as something you work on
forever. It sounds exhausting, I know, but it actually is amazing to
think that you are always working on yourself. Always striving to be
better, to make yourself happier. You are in charge. And just that
thought can already make you so much more confident in your abilities
and the power you have to change yourself and take the direction you
want in life.
What are the things that make you feel confident? What would your advice be to others on their self-confidence journey?
Lots of love,
Julia x
Lots of love,
Julia x
17 commentaires
My Age and my achievements have made me more confident. I have a lot to look back on and be proud of, and that helps a lot. But it is a work in progress for sure.
ReplyDeleteAnne|Linda, Libra, Loca
That's a good point, Anne: we should always remember what we accomplish and the things that make us proud to be ourselves :) xx
DeleteI always love people who are confident and dont even care what people will say about them.
ReplyDeleteI love this look of yours - very feminine.
Much Love,
Jane | The Bandwagon Chic
It takes a lot of work to get to the point where people's opinions don't matter, but it is well worth it! xx
DeleteThe level of confidence can change, both in a good or a bad way. But, as you said, if you don't lie to yourself, you can see the changes and work towards improving them. Love your post and your advice too. x
ReplyDeleteThank you Anca, I'm glad you agree with me on these points! xx
DeleteI truly love your mention of 'starting now' - this could apply to so, so many areas of life and personal development as well! Beautiful imagery in this post darling :) Hope you're having a fabulous week so far Julia!
ReplyDeleteGabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x
Exactly Gabrielle, we should always start whatever we want to accomplish there and then! xx
DeleteLoooove this post babe!! I think confidence is always something that we strive for
ReplyDeletewww.petiteelliee.com
Ellie xx
Thanks Ellie! xx
DeleteI believe we become more confident as we go through life. I definitely agree that we should seek out validation from others, particularly strangers! Instagram can be a negative place to hang out, I find! Fab post!!
ReplyDeleteSamantha x
Https://thebeautyspyglass.com
Shouldn’t seek out validation!! *
DeleteInstagram has its bad side, definitely... let's only go there for the positive! xx
Deletetrue words! we need to grow genuine confidence and not get it from others.
ReplyDeletealso, love your dress!!
xx
http://anoddgirl.blogspot.com.au
Thank you so much for reading! xx
DeleteGreat post.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written.
xx
https://theonethattravels.wordpress.com/
Thank you Zorica, I'm glad you enjoyed! xx
Delete